Adventures in Self Tanners – What Works and What Doesn’t

Ah, the beginning of summer (Or spring, as it’s known in places other than Florida.)  It’s the time of year when we’re pulling out shorts and summer dresses – and realizing that our arms and legs resemble the color of peeled chicken.

When I was younger, I would have prepared for this time of year months in advanced with an unlimited tanning package at my local tanning salon.  I would carefully develop a base tan and watch as the little playboy bunny shaped white spot on my stomach became more and more noticeable as my tan got darker.

And then I grew up and discovered that I was spending a whole lot of time and money that could go towards bills and my family and possibly giving myself skin cancer in the process.  Skin cancer is not fashionable.

Neither, however, is my wintery white chicken skin complexion.

Thus began my search for the perfect sunless tanner.

A good self tanner needs to work quickly – because I usually decide I want a tan about 12 hours before I’m going to a beach; should not turn my skin orange – because Oompa Loompa’s are not sexy; and should not streak – because, well, duh.

In my quest for the perfect sunless tanner, I’ve tried everything from the high dollar car wash approach of the Mystic Spray Tan to the cheap do-it-yourself drugstore brands.  Here’s what I’ve found…
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Facial Tanner: Jergens Natural Glow

I am not a tan girl.

My mother is a natural redhead and she generously passed on her fair complexion, freckles, and tendency to burn if exposed to the sun for longer than 3 minutes.

(She did not, however, give me her beautiful hair color.  Figures.)

Porcelain skin can be sexy.  Nicole Kidman rocks the pale faced look.  Unfortunately, I am no Nicole Kidman.  My skin tone leans more towards pasty than porcelain.

What’s a pale faced girl to do when she wants a little summer color on her face but can’t step into the sunlight without burning up like an old world vampire?

Fake it.

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