The Thong and I

Here’s what you need to know about me:

When they were giving out butts, I was in the generous line.

As a result, I don’t wear thongs.

Also, and I mention this for no reason in particular, I don’t love flossing.

But(t)!

Last week I went to a really fun event at my favorite lingerie store in NYC (where I’ve bought nightgowns and a robe, about a decade ago).

And when I left, they gifted me with a thong.

Except I didn’t know that, so I brought the gift bag home and my 12 year old daughter pulled this out:

And my lovely 12 year old daughter said “OMG, are you KIDDING ME?”

And I said, “Oh, that’s my new dusting cloth!”

And my daughter rolled her eyes. Really loudly.

And because a thong isn’t one of those blog swag things that I can pass on to my mother, like the Swiffer duster, for example, I tried it on.

And this Hanky Panky thong was incredible. And by incredible, I mean that it was comfortable and I didn’t have a day-long wedgie. Which, as far as I’m concerned is a really big plus.

And, in addition to being really comfortable, it comes in One Size (which fits 4-14), so you could be all like “yep, J. Lo and I share a thong size.”

If you’d like to treat yourself to this magical thong (or any of the other item that catches your eye on The Little Flirt website) simply enter ILUVLPC during checkout and receive a 15% discount. Offer expires on February 12, 2011. Plus, free shipping for orders of over $100!  Go ahead, treat yourself.

Friday Flop: Pk’boowear

It happens to even the most well dressed, body conscious women.

Maybe you skipped laundry day and all that was left at the bottom of your drawer was a pair of low-rise jeans circa 1998. Or maybe you put on a pair of pants that fit the last time you wore them but you’re one of those lucky bee-otches that loses weight for no good reason and suddenly you’re sporting droopy drawers.

Either way, you bend over to pick something up and end up in the unfortunate situation of displaying your underwear (or Lord help us all, butt crack) for all the world to see.

The next time you find yourself with a wicked case of plumber’s butt, don’t despair! Just get yourself a pair of Pk’boowear -  a ground-breaking, patent-pending line of elegant underwear that conceals butt cleavage in an elegant and sexy way.

Pk’boowear comes in two variates. The Lacy-Boo (available in brief and thong) for the more refined butt-crack flasher:

And the Tatted-Boo (only available in thong, naturally) for the hidden party girl in all of us:

I have two main issues with this latest patent-pending fashion. First, I’m adverse to anything targeted to grown women that attempts to be too cutesy, i.e. anything ending in -boo. Second, although well intentioned, I don’t think we, as a society, should be encouraging the public viewing of underwear or buttcracks.

Third (I know I said there were only two, but this is a doozie), flip through some of the product images. I’m all for going au naturel if that’s what suits you, but I shouldn’t see bush (Can I say that at Buy-Her?) when underwear shopping.

Honestly, I do feel a little remorseful for targeting a company whose only mistake was following me on Twitter, but really? There’s a market for this? REALLY?

Weigh in. Marketing genius or should everyone keep their buttcracks to themselves?

Friday Flop: Victoria’s Secret Supermodel Essentials

Besides my favorite cotton undies, I don’t shop at Victoria’s Secret. Their bras don’t fit me and and I don’t care to be mocked by mannequins that look like they’ve had a few ribs removed. But given the popularity of the oiled, feathered, and sequined spectacle known as the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, I think I’m in the minority, and Vicky’s is hoping to cash in with a new line of what it calls Supermodel Essentials.

Ready. Jet-set. Gag! I mean…Go! Here’s a few pieces to pick up to make yourself feel just like a supermodel.

Since things can get a little hairy back stage at a televised fashion show, a satin boxer’s robe is a complete necessity. You could be the next Million Dollar Baby. (Fashion Show Backstage Wrap $68)

If you want to look and feel like a supermodel, cover your body with them! Nothing makes a woman feel more confident with her body than seeing half naked models every time she visits the ladies room. Although, on second thought, this might not be such a bad idea – what woman wouldn’t want to tell Gisele Bündchen to kiss their hiney? (Fashion Show Tank & Panty Set $32)

What’s the first thing that you think of when someone says supermodel? Runway show? High fashion? Long john’s with a drop seat, of course. (Bling Thermal Long Jane $39.50-44.50)

Clearly these styles will be selling out in a heartbeat. Which Supermodel Essential will you be strutting your stuff in?

Plus Size Lingerie from Lingerie.com

I won’t get on my plus size soapbox today. We all know that the average American woman is 5’4″, weighs 140 pounds, has a size 34C bust and wears a size 14. That means that most of us aren’t digging around in Vicky’s closet when looking for lingerie.

That doesn’t mean that sexy lingerie isn’t available in plus sizes.

I was recently given the opportunity to do a little shopping at Lingerie.com. Now, I’ve been plus size most of my life (and even when I’ve been considered “thin” my décolletage has severely limited my lingerie choices), so before I said yes, I had to make sure that they carried sizes that could handle all this.

And they did. Real plus size lingerie and not some watered down fat girl versions of what lingerie should be. Not only is PLUS SIZE  proudly called out across the top of the page, many of the regular size styles have links directly to their plus size counterparts (some styles are available up to 3X/4X and a few up to 5X/6X) so you’re not constantly comparing selections.

See? The exact same babydoll in plus size. Only with real boobs!

I received the Maxime Babydoll and it’s quite elegant in person (though I was secretly hoping for it to be a little trashier, they do offer more risque styles). The scalloped detail around the neckline and the satin finish on the bottom hem make this babydoll a really well made piece of lingerie for under $30 (can’t you hear your grandmother saying oh, it’s so well made).

Most importantly, the size chart is accurate and the lingerie (at least the babydoll I tried) fits like it’s supposed to.

The one “complaint” I have is that the fabric is a bit scratchy, but this isn’t something I’m going to be lounging around in all day (I don’t think?) so I can suck it up in the name of romance.

Big love (no pun intended) to Lingerie.com for doing plus size lingerie right. You can find Lingerie.com on Facebook and Twitter @lingeriedotcom.

Lingerie That Women Like – Sexy, Not Slutty

A girlfriend and I were discussing lingerie this weekend.  Some women love it, some women hate it, and some women simply don’t see the point.  (For what it’s worth, I think a survey of men would show a similar split.)

Personally?

I like the idea of lingerie.  I like that it says “Hey, I’m making an effort here”.  And while I will never be one of those women who prances around in lace on a daily (or nightly) basis, it’s nice to have something to pull out for special occasions.

Unless it makes me feel stupid.

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